Strategic Listening
We can communicate on one-or all-of four different
levels at any given time:
1. facts,
2. meaning,
3. feelings, and
4. intention.
"The house is burning" is a simple,
straight-forward statement. But those four words — depending on how they are said
— may mean:
- "A residential structure is being consumed by
flames." (Facts)
- "The house we're in is on fire." (Meaning)
- "Ahhhh!!!!" (Feelings)
- "Run for your life." (Intention)
Sometimes we don't understand other people, because
we're not listening — or not listening well. We're
distracted or simply not paying attention. But sometimes
we don't understand them, because we're not hearing what
they want to communicate. We're not listening to the right
level.
We may hear the facts, for example, but miss the
feelings.
Strategic listening allows you to hear the various
messages people are communicating.
Level 1 The Facts
| People want to |
Convey information. |
| Our task is to |
Listen for details and clarify. |
| We need to ask |
"Who? What? Where? When? Why?
How?" |
| Our goal is to |
Picture the situation as the person is
describing it. |
Level 2 Meaning
| People want to |
Make themselves
understood. |
| Our task is to |
Listen for the big
picture; summarize and paraphrase. |
| We need to ask |
"Am
I understanding you correctly?"
"Is this what you're
getting at?" |
| Our goal is to |
Understand what the person
means — and make the other person feel understood. |
Level 3 Feelings
| People want to |
Connect on an emotional level. |
| Our task is to |
Listen with empathy; pay attention to
body language and tone of voice. |
| We need to ask |
"How does this make you
feel?"
"It sounds to me like you're feeling..." |
| Our goal is to |
Recognize how the person is feeling
— and make the other person feel connected. |
Level 4 Intention
| People want to |
Get their needs met. |
| Our task is to |
Listen for wants and needs; focus on
solutions, action steps, and outcomes |
| We need to ask |
"What do you want to have
happen?"
"What would help you in this situation?"
"What can you/we do about it?" |
| Our goal is to |
Know what the person wants to achieve. |
Check out The
Listening Leader.
Chris Witt, a coach based in San Diego, works with
executives and with technical experts who want to give more
effective presentations. If you're interested in
learning more about how you could benefit from his coaching,
contact him for a complimentary
call
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